DEPTH PSYCHOLOGY, CLINICAL WISDOM, AND THE WORK OF BECOMING
Reflections on therapy, transformation, and what it means to live more fully — from a Fort Collins therapist with 30 years of clinical experience
These posts are written for people who want more than symptom management. They are for the curious; the stuck; the quietly suffering; and the genuinely motivated — anyone who suspects that the patterns driving their experience run deeper than their current understanding reaches.
Each piece draws on Jungian depth psychology, psychoanalytic thinking, DBT, and thirty years of sitting with people in their most difficult chapters. The writing is clinical without being cold; honest without being harsh; and always aimed at one thing — helping you understand yourself more deeply so that genuine change becomes possible.
Browse the posts below. Take what resonates. And if something here speaks to what you are carrying; reach out. A free 15-minute consultation is always the starting point.
— John Kinnaird LCSW, EMDR Level II, CHt. | Mindful Transitions Counseling | Fort Collins, Colorado
- SUBLIMATION: THE DEFENSE MECHANISM AMERICA BUILT A RELIGION AROUND
On the wound beneath the work — and the life that waits on the other side of the achievement Somewhere in the middle of a life that looks, by every available measure, like a success, a person stops. Not dramatically. Not in crisis. They stop the way you stop when you have been walking fast… - DISPLACEMENT: WHY THE PERSON YOU’RE ANGRY AT IS ALMOST NEVER THE PERSON YOU’RE ANGRY AT
On the feelings that travel and the relationships that pay the price The anger you brought home was not about the dishes. You know this, somewhere. The dishes were real; they were there, unwashed, exactly where they should not have been, and the irritation that rose in you was genuine. But the size of it;… - THE REASON YOU GIVE AND THE REASON YOU DON’T: RATIONALIZATION, JUSTIFICATION, AND THE STORIES WE TELL OURSELVES
On the mind’s extraordinary capacity to explain what it cannot yet afford to examine You are in the middle of explaining a decision; to a partner, a friend, a therapist, or simply to yourself at two in the morning; and somewhere in the middle of the explanation, something happens. Not a dramatic recognition. Something quieter…. - WHAT COUPLES THERAPY ON PARAMOUNT GETS RIGHT THAT MOST PEOPLE MISS
Dr. Orna Guralnik and the psychodynamic dimension hiding in plain sight If you have watched Couples Therapy on Paramount and found yourself unexpectedly moved; not by the conflict, not by the drama, but by something quieter happening in the room; you have been watching psychodynamic work. You may not have known to call it that…. - THINKING ABOUT IT ISN’T THE SAME AS FEELING IT: INTELLECTUALIZATION AND RUMINATION
When the mind uses thought to avoid the very thing thought claims to be examining Thinking carefully about your problems is good. This is one of the few propositions about mental health that most people accept without question; across therapeutic traditions, cultural backgrounds, and levels of psychological sophistication. Reflection is healthy. Self-examination is mature. The… - THE FATHER WOUND: WHAT WE DON’T INHERIT FROM FATHERS WE NEVER REALLY HAD
– On the absence that shapes everything and the work of becoming one’s own man Somewhere in the middle of a session, usually when we have been working together long enough that the real material has begun to surface, a man will say something that stops the room. Not dramatically; quietly. Almost as an aside…. - THE OLDEST MAP: ASTROLOGY, SPIRITUAL CONNECTION, AND THE QUESTION OF WHAT MOVES US
– On the one spiritual language that appeared on every continent and what that might mean for how seriously we take it Say the word astrology in a room full of otherwise open-minded, intellectually curious people and watch what happens. The connection between astrology and spirituality has been part of human life for five thousand… - REACTION FORMATION: THE SELF YOU BUILT TO SURVIVE AND WHY IT COSTS SO MUCH TO MAINTAIN
When the feeling you cannot afford becomes its opposite — and what lives beneath the performance There is a particular kind of exhaustion that brings people to therapy. Not the exhaustion of overwork or poor sleep, though those may be present too. It is something more specific; a tiredness that seems to come from the… - PROJECTION AND PROJECTIVE IDENTIFICATION: SEEING YOURSELF IN EVERYONE ELSE
How the feelings we cannot own become the story we tell about other people There is a particular argument that couples have. It does not matter much what it is ostensibly about; the dishes, the tone of voice, the thing that was said at the party. What matters is the quality of it. Both people… - THE WALL YOU DIDN’T KNOW YOU BUILT: REPRESSION, SUPPRESSION, AND THE FEELINGS THAT GO UNDERGROUND
The first and most fundamental defense — and the one that makes all the others necessary There is a conversation most people have had with themselves that goes something like this. Something difficult happens; a slight, a loss, a moment of humiliation or rage. And almost immediately, before the feeling has fully formed, something else… - WHAT YOUR DEFENSES ARE REALLY TELLING YOU: AN INTRODUCTION TO DEFENSE MECHANISMS
A depth psychology reading of the strategies we use to survive — and what they cost us There is a particular kind of therapy session that most clinicians recognize. The client sits across from you, articulate and self-aware, describing their patterns with remarkable precision. They know they push people away. They know they intellectualize when… - WHY COUPLES WAIT TOO LONG TO SEEK THERAPY — AND WHAT CHANGES WHEN THEY DON’T
A depth psychology and Gottman perspective on the cost of waiting; and the courage it takes to call They are sitting at the kitchen table at ten o’clock at night. The dishes have been done. The children are in bed. And the two people who built this life together are sitting close enough to touch… - WHY LASTING CHANGE TAKES LONGER THAN A WEEKEND
On symptoms, structures, and what genuine transformation actually requires People come to therapy wanting to feel better. That is not a small thing; it is the right instinct. Something is causing pain. Something is getting in the way. Something needs to change. The desire for relief is not weakness or impatience — it is the… - THE BARBARIC YAWP; WHAT DEAD POETS SOCIETY TEACHES US ABOUT FINDING YOUR VOICE
A depth psychology reading of the scene that changed Todd Anderson; and what it reveals about shame, self-expression, and the relationship that makes genuine voice possible There is a scene in Dead Poets Society that most people who have seen the film carry with them for the rest of their lives. Not the desk-standing scene… - IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT; O CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN: WHAT TWO ICONIC SCENES TEACH US ABOUT SHAME, BECOMING, AND THE COURAGE TO BE KNOWN
A depth psychology reading of Good Will Hunting and Dead Poets Society Some films reach inside you and find something you did not know was there. Not because they are manipulative; though some are. But because they tell the truth about something genuinely difficult; and in telling it well they create the conditions for recognition…. - THE COURSE ALWAYS TELLS THE TRUTH: WHAT GOLF AND THE MASTERS TEACH US ABOUT SELF-KNOWLEDGE, FAILURE, AND THE HONEST PATH FORWARD
A depth psychology reflection on Masters week and what Augusta National has always been trying to tell us about being human The Masters begins today at Augusta National. For those of us who follow golf, Masters week arrives with a particular quality of feeling. The azaleas. The cathedral pines. The emerald fairways that look like… - WE ARE ALL FOOD FOR WORMS — MORTALITY, THE PRESENT MOMENT, AND THE INVITATION TO ACTUALLY LIVE
What Dead Poets Society gets right about the only life you have — and what depth psychology does with it There is a scene in Dead Poets Society that has stayed with me for decades. Robin Williams as John Keating — literature teacher, unlikely prophet — leads a group of privileged prep school boys to… - GOD, THE BRAIN, AND THE THERAPY ROOM — WHAT NEUROTHEOLOGY TELLS US ABOUT HEALING
The neuroscience of spiritual experience and why it belongs at the center of serious clinical work There is a conversation happening at the intersection of neuroscience and spirituality that most therapy websites will never mention. It is too complex, too philosophically loaded, too easy to misread in either direction — toward reductionism on one side… - THE DEATH THAT MAKES YOU — EASTER, INDIVIDUATION, AND THE ARCHETYPAL PATH TO WHOLENESS
What the story of the cross and the empty tomb has always been telling us about the deepest work of being human. Whatever your relationship to Christianity — devout, skeptical, curious, or somewhere in the complicated middle — the story told at Easter is one of the most psychologically profound narratives the human imagination has… - MINDFUL AWARENESS SKILLS — SPIRITUALITY, MINDFULNESS, AND HEALING
How ancient contemplative wisdom became the foundation of modern therapy Mindfulness and spirituality therapy in Fort Collins at Mindful Transitions draws on one of the oldest and most profound traditions in human history — the practice of mindful awareness developed over centuries in contemplative and spiritual traditions across the world. What is remarkable is how… - THE ROOTS OF EVIDENCE BASED THERAPY LIE IN THE DEPTH OF CARL JUNG
Why DBT, IFS, and CBT are not departures from depth psychology — they are continuations of it There is a story told about modern psychotherapy that goes something like this — the field has moved beyond the mystical speculations of Freud and Jung toward something more rigorous, more measurable, and more evidence-based. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy… - RETURNING TO COUPLES THERAPY IN FORT COLLINS — ALL RELATIONSHIPS WELCOME
I am excited to announce that I have returned to offering couples therapy in Fort Collins and Colorado at Mindful Transitions after a short hiatus. This return feels meaningful to me — couples work has always been some of the most rewarding and profound work I do as a therapist. I am honored to open… - A MINDFUL WAY THROUGH THE SUBCONSCIOUS — LIMINAL THINKING
Most of us walk around with a quiet but persistent sense that something is getting in the way. We know what we want. We know who we want to be. And yet we keep bumping into the same reactions, the same patterns, and the same invisible walls. Mindfulness therapy in Fort Collins at Mindful Transitions… - RELATIONSHIPS ARE HARD; STAY PRESENTRelationships are hard. Anyone who tells you otherwise hasn’t been in one long enough. The question isn’t whether conflict will arise — it’s whether you and your partner have the tools to navigate it together. Relationship counseling with John Kinnaird LCSW teaches us that staying present with our partner is one of the most powerful…
- NEUROSCIENCE AND THE FUNCTIONING LEVELS OF THE BRAIN IN THERAPY
Why understanding your neuroscience is the first step toward lasting change One of the most powerful things that can happen in therapy is the moment a client finally understands why they do what they do. Not in a blaming way. Not in a pathologizing way. But in a genuinely illuminating way — the kind of… - MARSHA LINEHAN AND MINDFULNESS SKILLS
How DBT’s core mindfulness practices create the foundation for lasting change Mindfulness DBT therapy in Fort Collins at Mindful Transitions draws on one of the most important contributions to modern psychology — the work of Dr. Marsha Linehan, the founder of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. Linehan did something remarkable. She took the ancient practice of mindfulness… - DBT and AcceptanceMarsha Linehan, the founder of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), shares how she found acceptance. From her study, she developed skills and counseling strategies to help people accept themselves, solve life problems and move towards their potential.
- Learn to face your anxietyAnxiety, depression, pain and suffering can be distracting, challenging and a barrier to our true self. We buy into our emotions as unsolvable or caused by others. Can we pause, detach from our thoughts and see the reality of our life from a perspective that holds our values and true sense of self. Many times…